I know that sounds weird and pretty abnormal, but it is actually pretty normal.

Are you in high school right now? Take a second to look around, half of the people you see won’t have sex until after they graduate. Nearly all of them will do that by choice, not because they can’t get any.

There are a couple of reasons for this. The first and most obvious is that sex is a big freaking deal. It is totally awesome, yes, but it is also incredibly dangerous. One mistake or bad decision can change the lives of two people forever. Disease and unwanted pregnancy are both very real results of having risky sex.

Thankfully, because of this there is a lot of education out there about safer sex practices. Private and government groups are all about getting the right information in your hands so you make the best choice about your sexual health. Sometimes, that choice is to wait, I know it was for me. And while we’re all about the safer sex here at SNAPOUT, there really isn’t anyway better way to full protect yourself than abstinence.

So let’s say you’ve decided to wait until you feel ready. That can be a choice that’s easier to tell yourself you’re going to stick to than it actually is. I know from personal experience that telling some one you’re not going to have sex right now can put a lot of stress on a relationship.

I was a senior in high school and I’d been dating this girl for a few months. It was the second semester and everyone was stressed about exams, graduation and if they were going to college. One night things went a little farther with the girl that I would have liked. I knew I wasn’t going to have sex, so I didn’t carry condoms with me. But suddenly, I was in a situation where I found that I was about to need a condom very badly. Thankfully, I was able to keep my head on my shoulders and I stopped things before they went too far. Which didn’t make the girl too happy. She started yelling at me, but I stuck with it, telling her that I just couldn’t do this now. There was too much at stake for me. What if she got pregnant? I’m in high school still, I haven’t even graduated yet! Finally, I told her that this was important to me, and if she cared about me, then she’d understand.

Well, she didn’t talk to me for a few days, but she finally did come around before the next week was over. Turns out that she was more embarrassed by the thought of me not wanting her than she was about anything else. But she understood how important waiting was for me, and she agreed that we were more important than that.

If you’re feeling the pressure to have sex, look around you. Half of those people are just like you. They are choosing to wait. And for all of those people, that’s the right choice, just like it might be for you.

HIV is the virus that causes AIDS. HIV is found in transmissible rates (enough to get you infected) in blood, semen, vaginal fluids and breast milk. It is also found in tears, but not amounts high enough to cause transmission.

HIV cannot be transmitted through casual skin to skin contact, including contact with sweat. So, you don’t have to worry about getting HIV from using a public gym or touching some one with the virus. Hugging your positive friends is totally safe, and they could probably use the support.

You can’t get HIV through closed-mouth kissing. There has only been one case of HIV transmission through french-kissing, but unless both of you have gaping, bleeding sores if your mouth, you should be fine. And if you have sores like that in your mouth, go to the doctor. No one wants to be kissing that.

The primary method of HIV transmission is sex. Two people getting down and dirty without protection. Condoms are the method of prevention here. Don’t use lambskin or “natural” condoms, though. They’ve got tiny pores in them that are too small for sperm to get through, but aren’t small enough to prevent HIV viruses from getting through. If he’s allergic to latex, most female condoms are made with another type of plastic that shouldn’t irritate his skin. Male or female condoms work equally well, but make sure that you know how to use them. Most condoms come with instructions inside the box. The key here is regular use. Just forgetting a single time can be all it takes to hurt yourself or some one you care about for the rest of your lives.

And I’m talking about all kinds of sex, not just penis in the vagina sex. You need to use protection for oral and anal sex, too. Dental dams for going down on a girl, condoms for going down on a guy.

One note about condoms and anal sex. Nonoxynol-9 is a spermicide used on some condoms, and it has been linked to a higher rate of HIV transmission when used in anal sex. Apparently it can cause sores in some people when used in that way. Those sores mean more openings for HIV to take advantage of. So, for anal sex, a condom is still a must, just make sure that it isn’t coated in nonoxynol-9.

The second most common method of transmission is through used needles. There is blood on a needle after it has been used, and HIV can survive for a few hours outside of the body in dried blood. Unfortunately, there isn’t a needle exchange program in the Mid-South, so make sure that you aren’t using old needles. That goes for tattoo and piercing needles, too. Don’t let your friend pierce your ears with the same needle she just used on herself, and definitely don’t let your friend “practice” on you with the homemade tattoo gun he made. In tattoo and piercing parlors, make sure that you see the needles come out of a new, medically sealed package.

That’s it. What you need to know to SNAPOUT about HIV transmission. I hope it cleared some stuff up for you. If you’ve got any questions or comments, feel free to add them.

But, sometimes the odds are against you and the thing is just going to break. It’s happened to me, it’ll happen to anyone who uses them on a regular basis.

If you’re lucky, you’ll know the second one breaks. When this happens, the guy should pull out, take the old condom off and put a new one on.

Sometimes you aren’t so lucky, and you won’t immediately notice. Same deal as above. Take off the old one, put on a new one.

If you don’t catch it before he comes, don’t freak out. That’s why there is emergency contraception. EC will prevent pregnancy after unprotected sex if taken within 72 hours. It isn’t an abortion, and it isn’t meant as a replacement for regular birth control. Contact your local clinic (Memphis Center for Reproductive Health or Planned Parenthood are two examples) and they’ll help you out. If you are under 18, you’ll need to see a physician first.

You’re also going to want to get tested for STDs if the condom broke. Tests can be done at the same clinics I mentioned before. Testing can be done anonymously via mail-in tests, as well.

While you’re there, pick up some free condoms. Just about every sexual health clinic will have free condoms available to walk-ins.

Oh, it may seem like a good idea to stack two condoms to be extra safe, but don’t. Condoms aren’t made to rub against other condoms. There is a much greater chance they’ll tear.

If you want to be as safe as possible with condoms, keep these things in mind-

-Condoms come with instructions. Normally they are either printed on paper, on the inside of the box. Read them, look at the pictures. You want to know how the thing that’s going to keep you safe works, right?
-Condoms can be tricky, so practice. It seems simple enough, you just roll it on, but there is more to it than that. You’ve got to make sure the right end is pointing up, and to leave some space at the top. You can practice by yourself (I went through a 3-pack practicing before I had sex my first time), or with your partner (foreplay anyone?).
-Condoms don’t last forever. Over time, the latex dries out and starts to crack, making it more likely to tear when stretched out. You wouldn’t drink out of date milk, why would you use an out of date condom?
-Condoms aren’t indestructible. Keep them some place that isn’t hot, and isn’t going to get messed with. There are better places than wallets and purses.
-Condoms are latex. Latex breaks down when it comes in contact with oil based lubricants like baby oil, massage oil, Vaseline or body lotions. Simple rule: if it has “oil” in the name, don’t use it as a lube with condoms. You should only use water based lubricants like KY or Astroglide.